New Poetic Works- "I never knew your name"

I never knew your name by Forrest Robert Stepnowski

Excerpt from "BOUND; The Lost Romanticism and Eroticism of Gay Men"

I remember one I thought I knew what innocence was,

I had recently come out after pretending of being something I was not,

I examined the possibilities of where to meet hot guys,

There were the bars of course,

Bars that were swarming with hot men in the midsummer night’s heat,

Meat markets for all to ogle and lust after,

I could see myself caught up in the scene and becoming a bar fly?

Or could I?

I was not the pretty face or the guy with abs of steel,

I was joe average, still am I suppose,

We met randomly on a chat page,

You remember it well,

You were my guru of gay.com,

Your sweet face was so innocent,

Cute little smile, beautiful eyes, full beautiful lips,

But your words were infused with sexual anticipation,

You said it was your first time,

I had just come out,

We talked for hours,

We decided to meet at the metaphor, a local coffee shop downtown San Diego,

I walked into the shop and my breath was stolen from me,

You were angelic, sitting their reading your book,

I felt like a stalker and I stood there frozen in my tracks,

Admiring your beauty,

You looked up and caught me staring, you laughed

You put your book down and walked my direction and gave me a

hug and a sweet kiss on the cheek,

You said you were realized to see I was truly the handsome man you saw in my photos,

I was puzzled,

Apparently, you have met some trolls and impostors before,

We sit together by the window, holding each other’s hands,

Talking for hours, we continued to talk for 12 hours,

Lost by the time, you invited me to come over for dinner,

You smiled and said, ‘we can continue our talking there’,

I could not resist your charms,

We were both naive,

So innocent,

But the tension continued to build between us,

You kissed my cheek again,

I caressed your face gently and kissed your lips,

Slowly massaging your lips with mine,

You trembled in my arms,

I said I better leave before it got too late,

You asked me to stay,

I accepted the invitation,

I offered to sleep on your couch, you laughed,

You grabbed my hand and lead the way to your bedroom,

We kissed,

More and more intensely each caress of our lips,

We begin removing each other’s clothing,

Touching each other, exploring each other’s bodies,

We laid upon your bed in an entangled embrace,

Your legs wrapped around my waist,

We stair into each other’s eyes,

You smile and asked me to be your first,

I kissed you and held your tight against my body,

We became one so effortlessly,

My initial thrust made you moan passionately,

At first, we froze like statues,

Lost in time like a work of art displayed by Davinci,

I began to thrust into you more and more,

You quivered asking me to never stop,

I controlled your body with every motion,

Holding your hands down against the bed,

Looking into your eyes,

Kissing you,

We were locked in this embrace for hours,

We both began our climax,

Moaning,

Heavily exhaling,

Our orgasm was strong and in sequenced,

My final thrust caused you to arch backwards with a final aww!

We peaked in a rage of passion like Mt St Helen’s erupting over and over again,

I kiss you softly,

I am still inside of you, throbbing inside of you,

You look into my eyes and begin to move yours helps side to side, enjoying my cock inside of you,

We began to make love again,

You are utterly speechless and out of control,

Our dance embattled, and intense,

You sing out a song that puts sirens to shame,

We are at another apex in a passionate duet,

Another moment of heightened sensation,

We both exhale, kiss, and laugh,

We continue to stare into each other’s eyes,

Our coffee date became 20 hours of pure exhilaration,

We embraced for the rest of the night,

We fell asleep in each other’s arms,

Dreaming of the intense karma sutra we performed,

Later that morning, we arose and were still holding each other,

You made me promise to never forget you,

I laughed saying this is only the beginning,

You began to cry,

You told me how you were being deployed at the end of the week,

You were in the middle of serving our country in the navy,

I reassured you that I was not going anywhere and would wait for you to return,

You cried and kissed me over and over again,

We showered, dressed, and went to the coffee shop where are date started,

We spent every available minute we had left that week in preparation of your leave to the middle east,

You even introduced me quickly to your family, whom I still talk to this day,

My heart both full and broken simultaneously,

I kissed you with the sentiment I will be here when you return,

Neither of us could say the words goodbye,

We wrote each other for four months,

Your letters stopped coming,

I waited for four more months, and your letters stopped coming,

Your parents called me daily to see if I had heard from you, as their letters had stopped coming as well,

Until the day you were pronounced missing in action,

Your parents fell silent with everyone,

March 25, the phone rang,

It was your sister,

She had been crying,

I tried to console her, but she stated she wanted to know I was ok,

She called me for your parents who I could hear crying in the background,

I asked her what was wrong, even though I had a sense I already knew,

She cried inconsolably and told me you were found dead in the field,

I lost my identity, my joy, and my reason for living in one statement,

My first true love ended in tragedy like a Greek mythological play,

You were part my soul, my being, my treasure,

The day of the funeral, I was left in shattered pieces,

Like a broken stain glass window with the colors of life you gave me were fragmented into several pieces upon my feet,

I read your full name on the stone,

I shed tears as I realized I never knew your full name,

I continued to weep,

I never knew your name


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